i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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