We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
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