I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Randomize
