I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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