Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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