I think my fart just growled at me.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
