i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
