i permit you to call me
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
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