Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Randomize
