this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
