Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
My breasts were aching with rage.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
