Ketchup is God's man juice
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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