haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
it's like iHOP with fire
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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