I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
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