we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
My day in three words: secret purse cake
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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