I understand Curling. That high.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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