dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
