It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
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