Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I'm always down for nudity.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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