Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
