I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize