that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
