My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
