it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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