been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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