ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
