You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Randomize