I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
