Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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