Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
40s are totally the cure
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Randomize
