I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
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