as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I'm like, not good at living.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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