i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
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