Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
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