big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I can't turn off my feet"
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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