Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
so let's talk penis.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
