Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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