I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
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