I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
