My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize