he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
