are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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