Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
