Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
