Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
