bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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