Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
