So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
