I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
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