I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
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