Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?