My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
