and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
i think my cat just said my name.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
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