Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
