put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
they're like a gay fantastic four
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Randomize
