were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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